


The Pied Piper

by MediumSizedEvil



Series: Incredible Thoughts [24]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: M/M, The Life & Times of Dutch Flautist Frans Brüggen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-04-03 17:29:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21491884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MediumSizedEvil/pseuds/MediumSizedEvil
Summary: Imagine if a fish could play guitar and also sing, it would sound bizarre, like "My name is Mr. Fish, these guys' thoughts have granted my wish, oh yeah!"Raymond and Kevin go to Amsterdam and get baked.
Relationships: Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt
Series: Incredible Thoughts [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1591777
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25
Collections: Incredible Thoughts





	The Pied Piper

**Author's Note:**

> > “Oh, hey there, Captain! Do you happen to know what day today is?”
>> 
>> “Well, based on the fact that yesterday was the birthday of legendary Dutch flautist Frans Brüggen, and a week ago was October 24th, I'd say today is-”
>> 
>> “It's Halloween. Just say it's Halloween.”
>> 
>> “It's Halloween.”
>> 
>> “Alright, and what happened last Halloween?”
>> 
>> “Oh, I listened to the CD I bought the night before; the Frans Brüggen birthday concert.”
>> 
>> “Please stop saying Brüggen.”
> 
>   
\- 2x04 

“And this house, Monniksgastelsteeg 87b to be exact, is where legendary flautist Frans Brüggen was born on 30 October 1934 as the youngest of nine children.”

Kevin nodded. “Humble beginnings.”

“At this crossing of the Troelstrastraat and the Westervleetpad young Frans Brüggen fell off his bicycle and chipped a small piece off his top left incisor. Some critics have suggested this contributed to his unique sound.”

Kevin nodded. “Indubitably.”

“This street corner is where Frans Brüggen's first public performance on the recorder took place on Queen's Day 1939. He raised a total of 1 Guilder and 35 cents.”

Kevin nodded. “Capital.”

“Right here Frans Brüggen accidentally dropped the score of Telemann's _Fantasia in G minor_ in a puddle of mud.”

Kevin nodded. “Priceless.”

“In this schoolyard of the St. Ignatius College Frans Brüggen beat up fellow student and future Nobel Prize Winner Paul Crutzen for calling him a _fluitketel_.”

Kevin shook his head. “I'm sorry, Raymond, my Dutch is a bit rusty.”

“A whistling tea kettle.”

“This fine establishment on the Hoppenbrouwergracht 45 is where Frans Brüggen bought his first set of women's lingerie.”

Kevin nodded. “Fascinating.”

“This brown pub is where Frans Brüggen used to imbibe copious amounts of alcohol on Thursday evenings with a select group of intimates known as the Baroque Stars.”

Kevin nodded. “Cozy.”

“And this canal is where Frans Brüggen tended to expel said alcoholic beverages at the end of the night.”

Kevin nodded. “Very deep.”

“This very bicycle path is where an obstinate thumbtack punctured Frans Brüggen's back tire, almost making him late for a rehearsal of Rameau's _Les Indes galantes_.”

Kevin nodded. “Riveting. Watch out!”

“And this famous address is where Frans Brüggen dropped a plate of chilli con carne in Gustav Leonhardt's harpsichord after a heated argument about Girolamo Frescobaldi's sacred works.”

Kevin nodded. “Spicy.”

“This is where Frans Brüggen bought a stamp once.”

Kevin nodded. “Eh...”

“I can see that you are slightly overwhelmed with emotion. I must admit, so am I.”

“Perhaps it would be best if we had a little pause in our tour?”

“Yes, let us sit a while on this conveniently placed bench. Kevin, I cannot begin to express my gratitude at this very thoughtful anniversary gift. Such a wonderful pilgrimage to the birthplace of one of my greatest heroes.”

“I'm glad you approve. Now I was wondering if you would like to partake of this here muffin that I have purchased just now.”

“Kevin, you make this outing even more extravagant! I will indulge you, but on one condition, that we share this bounty together.”

“I will agree to that.”

“Have you by any chance also observed how freely men publicly share their affections with each other in this town? 

“Yes, and I admit it puts me in quite an...amorous mood.”

“You sly dog! You brought me here on purpose, didn't you?”

“Perhaps I also had...other reasons for choosing this destination. Very good muffin.”

“Indeed. That reminds me, wasn't it Gloria Steinem who said 'A man needs a woman like a fish needs a bicycle'?”

“I believe so. Or it was Gertrude Stein. Or Albert Einstein. But Ray, Ray...what if a fish played the recorder, would it need a bicycle?”

“Well obviously, if Frans Brüggen did. But, what if a fish played guitar?”

“And also sang?”

“Well that would sound...bizarre, Kevvvvvv.”

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Like, 'My name is Mr. Fish, these guys' thoughts have granted my wish'.”

“Oh yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Frans Brüggen](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frans_Br%C3%BCggen) is my uncle. More details can be found in Marinus Versteegen's excellent _Frans Brüggen: De Vrolijke Flierefluiter_, Nijgh & Van Ditmar, ISBN 978-1-52970-315-4 (only available in Dutch).
> 
> Just kidding, I made it all up.


End file.
